OK, OK, OK, I admit that some reporter had to write this story, no matter how much I wish it would go away:

NORFOLK, Va. -- One of Hampton Roads' highest-profile Christians stands accused of a not-so-Christian act.

A plaintiff in a federal lawsuit against Pat Robertson says the televangelist threatened his life and that of his family at a legal proceeding Wednesday in the Norfolk federal courthouse. The accuser, Phillip Busch, is suing Robertson for misappropriation of his image in the promotion of Robertson's protein diet shake.

According to a complaint Busch filed with the Norfolk police, Robertson entered a room in the courthouse ... to be questioned for a deposition -- an out-of-court form of testimony -- and told Busch: "I am going to kill you and your family."

Bodybuilders. Protein diet shakes. Death threats. Where's the part about leg-pressing a Lincoln Navigator (note the obscure pop-culture reference)?

Is any of this mentioned in the Book of Revelation?

All I have to say is this: There is a reason that journalism professors warn young reporters about using secondhand quotes.

That's all. I am going to go lie down and take an Advil or two.