Be very, very afraid, Portland!

The Christians are invading Oregon — and they want to tell your children about Jesus.

That's scary stuff, I know.

But somehow I missed — until now — the newspaper story earlier this month about some residents' concerns about an after-school Bible study club. I promise this headline is from The Oregonian, not The Onion:

Evangelical Christian clubs coming to Portland-area public schools — opposition says curriculum is 'hardcore fundamentalist indoctrination'

If you need me, I'll be hiding under my desk.

Then again, it's probably best not to delay this dramatic news:

Hundreds of Portland-area residents are organizing to stop a network of Christian clubs from proselytizing to children on public school campuses.

The Good News Club has been controversial around the country, but Portland may be the first city to organize on such a large scale against the group.

"We think if people have enough information, they'll choose not to do it," said Robert Aughenbaugh, a co-founder of Protect Portland Children. His said the group purchased a full-page advertisement in Wednesday's Willamette Week.

The Good News Club's curriculum includes teaching children that every person is a sinner. In the eyes of many Christians, "sin" is any failure to meet God's standards. The Bible states, for example, that "all have sinned."

"We believe that these doctrines are harmful to 5-year-old children," Aughenbaugh said. "They teach fear. They teach shame."

Did you catch the scare quotes around "sin?"

Here at GetReligion, we've become accustomed to seeing scare quotes (which according to Merriam-Webster, express "skepticism or derision concerning the enclosed word or phrase") around terms such as "religious liberty" or "religious freedom."

But I don't know that I've ever seen scare quotes around "sin." In fact, I don't think I've ever seen a newspaper feel the need to define that term. Then again, I'm a Bible-believing Christian who lives in the heart of the Bible Belt.

Actually, however, the story isn't terrible. (I wish I could say the same about The Associated Press' extremely lame rewrite.)

Keep reading, and the newspaper provides crucial context on the program's constitutionality and gives a voice to all sides, including the Christians. In fact, the report gets down to some important (albeit humorous, if you know anything about evangelical Christianity) nitty-gritty:

Aughenbaugh said the Good News Club misrepresents itself to parents by claiming to be a "Bible study," which he thinks implies a historical or literary approach. He finds calling a population of children a "harvest field" worrisome and "creepy." (CEF uses the phrase "harvest field" multiple times on its website.)

But the group's points of opposition all boil down to misunderstanding, Luck said. "Harvest field" is Christian jargon and "Bible study," to those in many church communities, almost always means approaching the Bible as a factual, divinely inspired text.

My overall reaction to The Oregonian's story? I probably should make an important journalistic point. Instead, I just keep chuckling.

Be very, very afraid, Portland!