So the “cabana boy” story is back, only with a plot twist. I am referring, of course, to the neo-tabloid New York Times report last year that ran with this headline: “The Evangelical, the ‘Pool Boy,’ the Comedian and Michael Cohen.”
Now, expect lots of mainstream digital ink (#DUH) to be spilled in the hours ahead about this Washington Examiner “Secrets” column headline: “Exclusive: Falwell says ‘Fatal Attraction’ threat led to depression.”
This article by Paul Bedard was based on a 1,200-word document from Jerry Falwell, Jr. — currently on an indefinite leave of absence as president of Liberty University — and a follow-up telephone interview. Thus, journalists are starting off with on-the-record material they can quote.
The key: Falwell says that he has struggled with depression in the wake of an affair by his wife Becki, which then led to threats of blackmail.
In a statement exclusively to Secrets, Falwell revealed his wife Becki’s affair for the first time, said it was short lived and that the two reconciled quickly. But, they claimed, her former lover has threatened them over the past several years and they are done with it hanging over their heads.
“I’m just tired of it,” said Falwell of the anxiety he’s felt about the affair becoming public and embarrassing his family and Liberty. “It’s just got to end,” he added.
This may have been part of the subtext for recent statements by Liberty’s board about secrets and problems swirling around their digitally unzipped leader.
When I read this remarkable document, the first person I thought of was pundit Chris Matthews, and not because of the details of his resignation from his MSNBC show. No, I was thinking about something he shared long ago in his political playbook “Hardball.”
I am referring to this Beltway battlefield strategy: “Hang a lantern on your problem.”
What does that mean? You can see various definitions online, including: “When politicians recognize their problems and presents them outright, it takes them away from their opponents and puts them in control of how they are viewed.” I like this short version: “It’s always better to bear your own bad news.”
Thus, journalists will need to pause and ask if this remarkable Falwell memo is the whole truth or part of the truth that helps Liberty’s leader during his current problems? The answer, of course, could be “yes,” to both. Here is a long chunk of the “Secrets” column, which is baptized in evangelical language.
“Even though I continued successfully working with our entire Liberty team to achieve so many of our goals, I am now dealing with things in a way that I should have done before -- including seeking to address the emotional toll this has taken. I shouldn’t have been afraid to admit my vulnerabilities and to reach out for assistance from the mental health professionals who could have alleviated this pain and stress. I am committed to speaking out and sharing with others at Liberty the importance of seeking counseling instead of thinking you need to be tough and try to bear these burdens on your own. I am in the early stages of addressing these issues,” he wrote.
And, he added, “The trauma of this experience has brought us to a very challenging point in our lives, but we are strong, our faith in Christ is greater than ever, and with His help and with those in the community who we love and who appreciate the impact of forgiveness, we will get through this. We ask for your prayers and support.”
There’s more, including personal details that may help Falwell establish a timeline for his version of what went down and when.
But allow me to move, for a moment, on from this “Hardball” hook.
In addition to thinking about Matthews, this story made me think about the wisdom of the late Dr. Louis McBurney of Colorado, a trailblazer in counseling pastors and other Christian leaders — especially those whose marriages had crashed. His work was rooted in his evangelical faith and psychiatric credentials from the Mayo Clinic.
While I was working at The Rocky Mountain News (#RIP), McBurney allowed me to spend several days in his retreat center, with the understanding that I would not write about anyone I met there — staff or patients — without their clear permission.
I learned a lot about stress in the ministry, but here is the point that may be relevant to this emerging Falwell family story.
McBurney told me that, in the hundreds of cases he had handled, all but a few had involved sexual affairs by one or both of the marriage partners. However, he added this observation: 99% of the time these affairs were clearly symptoms that pointed to deeper problems, usually tied to workaholism and other family issues.
However, an affair linked to a religious leader was — especially among evangelicals — was almost always the crisis that forced these leaders, and the officials that supervised their flocks, to face hard facts and seek help from others.
The earlier New York Times potboiler did everything that it could to connect all of this Falwell drama to Citizen Donald Trump. However, the timeline offered by Falwell — who is not ordained — covers a broader period of time and involves, in addition to details about his marriage, lots of talk about real estate, money, networking and efforts to grow the family’s academic franchise.
A political scandal? A financial scandal? Or a sad and all-to-familiar story of ambition, stress, sin and threats to the ties that bind?
Stay tuned. I think the key, for reporters, is to focus on the years before Trump. Look for the tragic roots of this story.