Over and over, this recent Washington Post news feature proclaims “This is not a political story,” “This is not a political story,” “ This is not a political story.”

Thus, the headline proclaims: “Greetings from the alternate universe where Oprah and Michelle Obama are running for president.”

But, of course, the whole point is that there are many blue zip-code Americans who wish, wish, wish this was a real political story. They are looking for a savior, with a small “s.”

Then again, this article — in addition to not being a political story — is not a religion story.

Maybe. It depends on how one defines “religion” right now, in the giant shopping mall of self-empowerment lingo that is American public discourse. See if you can spot a clue or two in the overture:

NEW YORK — It wasn’t long after Oprah Winfrey took the stage … for her 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus tour — equal parts Weight Watchers pitch, gospel revival and wellness fair — before she said what was on the tip of the audience’s tongues.
“In the early stages of the tour, we had trouble coming up with the right title,” she said. “We did talk about ‘Oprah 2020.’ And then I thought you would get the wrong idea.”
No, for the millionth time, Oprah is not running for president. And neither is her guest of honor that day, Michelle Obama, the nation’s most famous empty-nester, who told Winfrey she’s trying to figure out “how I want to spend the rest of my life.”
“President!” came a shout from the audience. “White House!” yelled some others.

OK, I will ask: What does “gospel” mean in this context?

Anyway, that reference opens the door for a rush of semi-spiritual lingo in this piece — even though there is no attempt to reference a brand-name religion of any kind.

What fans/worshippers are shelling out between $69.50 and $299.99 to attend is a “vision tour,” complete with yoga, free hand massages and a rite in which they “meditated to the tune of sound bowls played by a blond woman in a traffic-cone-orange suit.” One session focused on the spiritual importance of the “four elements of earth, water, fire and air.” Whoa. Alert the Rev. Paula White?

The goal, reported the Post, was to “radiate joy!” Most of all, it was clear that the participants were demonstrating their belief that our “nation is looking for a healer.”

So Oprah and Obama 2.0 are doing what? Here is the thesis statement (I guess):

The not-“Oprah 2020” event could have been a political rally from an alternate dimension where two of Blue America’s most beloved figures have teamed up to take back the country from President Trump. The Vision tour was, in fact, an event from this dimension, where Blue Americans, anxious and exhausted and restless, have directed some of that energy toward better governing their own bodies and minds.

So is that a matter of psychology? Political science? Self-help techniques? A better diet? Wisher choices at The Mall of America?

It appears to me that this is an alternative blue-zone religion, with the queen of Oprah America reaching out to religiously unaffiliated swing voters/consumers. What else could it be?

But this is also about Donald Trump, since everything is about Trump.

Try to parse the mixed signals in this passage:

It can be tricky to separate the way we feel from the way of the world, and for some attendees, life goals and political goals cannot help but overlap.
“I made a vision board with ‘Oprah 2020’ on it,” said Debbie Anastasio, 34. “I would love to see her [as] president and as the first female president.”
So, how does one make one’s visions come true?
A dance party, to start. Daybreaker’s Radha Agrawal began the day by leading an energetic one to the tune of songs such as Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” telling the audience that when they “awaken our seven energy centers, this is how our vision manifests.” Okay. And, by the way, our energy centers? Each one is a color of the rainbow. (Number six, indigo: “This is our third eye, our intuition.”) The colors, projected across giant screens, flashed upon the exuberant faces of thousands of middle-aged women shaking their hips.

Religion? Politics? Commerce?

The answer is: Yes?